Haunted Dreams

“Sleep is when all the unsorted stuff comes flying out as from a dustbin upset in a high wind”

- William G. Golding

I dreamed of you again.

It is so strange to me how unprovoked you appear.

Dreams of you are always full of questions

And those questions breed more questions.

The day or two after is always the worst.

I find myself wondering if anything will ever come of it.

Then the cold reality sets in.

Squaring my shoulders, I look at the honest truth.

Insecurities fill my heart

as I realize you and I

are very similar but yet very different.

Our worlds familiar, yet we remain worlds apart.

It is what it is.

Like ships in the night sharing the same vast sea

We will continue to be.

All I ask of you is that you stopping haunting my dreams.

Classy is as Classy does,...

  A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.-Coco Chanel

  My life has always been full of classy women. I was raised watching old movies with Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, and Sophia Loren. I observed these women and how elegant their every action was. Also, I had role models in my world such as my mother, grandmothers and aunts. As well, as many women I have watched throughout the years.

I've learned the following:

• When a woman is classy, she carries herself in a confident, self-assured manner. She isn't snobby (there is a difference between classy & snobby). She knows who she is and isn't ashamed of it. She is confident that she can handle what life throws at her. Why? Because she has prepared for it. (Another sign of a classy lady.)
• When a woman is classy, she walks differently and has great posture. This goes along with the confidence point. You can tell how a woman thinks about herself by how she carries herself. Slouching shows lack of self-respect, confidence, & pride. Then there are those who carry themselves in an overly confident manner. We've all seen them. They walk as if everyone should be watching them. These women lean towards snob behaviors.
• When a woman is classy, she dresses like it. She doesn't expose herself. She respects her body and dresses it in a manner that causes others to respect it. She doesn't worry about the lastest trends in apparel, she knows what looks good and what doesn't. She isn't a crowd follower but a crowd parter. People respectful watch her.
• When a woman is classy, she is authentic. She is real. There is no fake smiles, hugs or comments. Everything is genuine, just like she is. She isn't afraid to show emotion but knows when to temper it. One of my favorite stories concerning a real-life heroine of mine, is about the time she was caught in her pajamas by a maintenance man (my grandfather). My grandfather said she was just as elegant in her oversized sleep shirt as she was in a suit. She wasn't ashamed of being authenic.She recognized it and was comfortable in the fact she was just as human as anyone else.

  Classy women are a scarcity in this day and time. We hear of women making the news because of nudity pics or affair scandals. It's hard for us to look around and see a truly classy woman to role model. I long for women to begin respecting themselves again. Because when you respect you others take note and begin to respect you in turn.

Creativity

 “Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things.” -Ray Bradbury

I believe that each living individual has creativity inside of them.

We just have to tap into it.

Some individuals have creativity oozing from their pores. These are they who paint, draw, write and invent at a high rate. They are constantly churning out the visions of their imagination.

Then there are those of us who have to try harder to find the creativity lurking in us. We know it's there but we never quite seem to connect and draw from it. We are they who long to paint, draw, write and invent but find ourselves with a room of unfinished projects.

It's the unfinished that haunts us.

It urges us to give up; to realize we are not the Van Gogh we wish to be.

However we must realize while we are born with creativity it must be nutured and cultured.

Remember as a child how you could create epic battle scenes with the neighborhood kids?

Remember how you could mass produce work after work of Crayola art?

Remember how you could be easily entertained for hours with just a couple of toys?

It's because you constantly fed your creativity.

Creativity is like a checking account.

If you don't put anything in it, eventually it's going to be empty.

Invest time to daily feed your creativity.

Like any good investment, it will pay in the long term.

No matter what area your creative genius lies, invest in it.

 Feed it.

Then watch it come back to feed your creative soul.

The Vital Need

I have started reading the Amplified Bible when studying. I had heard about the version at a Women's Conference. And then YouVersion (Love YouVersion! It's a smart phone must!) came out with it. Now it is one of my favorite Bible versions.

Last night when reading I came across Psalms 27. Sometimes I find I don't have the words to pray and during those times I open up the Psalms and pray them. Psalms 27 is an excellent psalm for this. As I prayed through Psalm 27, I came to verse 8 and couldn't leave it. It commanded my attention.

8You have said, Seek My face [inquire for and require My presence as your vital need]. My heart says to You, Your face (Your presence), Lord, will I seek, inquire for, and require [of necessity and on the authority of Your Word].

I want that Psalms 27:8 hunger. I want to passionately seek, ask for and require God's presence because I have to have it to survive. It has to be a need in my life

How often do we seek after God because we crave, yearn, need Him? Not because of what He can do for us but because without Him we are nothing. He must be my vital need.

Somehow I have to get beyond routine religion and start requiring "living water" for daily substance.



Hope Givers

Yesterday, I had a much needed conversation with my Gmom. Like I’ve mentioned in previous posts, my grandmother is a wise woman with insight I dream of having one day. I've been feeling self pity because of my current phase in life compared to that of my peers. She calmly listened as I emotionally unloaded on her and once I had finished she spoke hope into my heart.

She is a hope giver.

Hope Givers have the ability to move the emotional perspective on life. Hope Givers bring a calmness and peace about circumstances. They have the ability to give strength and courage to those who felt they could not go on.

In your realm of influence, are you a Hope Giver? It doesn't take a special degree or vast experience. It only takes a few minutes of your time and a few carefully chosen words.

You can change someone's life with the words you speak.

Are you a hope giver? Do you bring hope to those around you?

Learning experience # 528

  Sometimes open doors shut. Sometimes windows aren't meant to be raised. Sometimes it's a pride destroying experience. Sometimes you realize that it's not the plan for you. Sometimes there is more  than meets the eyes. Sometimes you want to cry in the disappointment.

It's apart of life.

BUT.

I KNOW,...

Not all open doors shut. Windows do open. Sometimes it's a building experience. There is a bigger plan for me. There is more divine working than meets the eyes. Sometimes blessings comes through tears.

And that it is all apart of life.

Not trying to be repetitive but this scripture is quickly becoming my manta.

Isaiah 40:27-31

27 Why do you complain, Jacob?

Why do you say, Israel,

“My way is hidden from the LORD;

my cause is disregarded by my God”?

28 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

The Awakening

Last night I attended a student-led bible study at FPB. This group of around 10 students have started meeting on Monday nights for the sole purpose of digging deeper in the Word. When hearing about it, I thought I'd stop by and see what it was about.  I didn't quite know what to expect and I have to say I was pleasantly shocked. I was told the group started at 7pm so I arrived right on time guessing that it would start late (we're talking high schoolers here.) I was wrong. I was one of the last ones to arrive. The students were quietly talking while waiting for everyone to arrive. As I sat down, I noticed each student, whether it was a traditional Bible, iphone or ipad,  had a Bible with them. They were prepared and ready.

A student kicked it off with scripture and her thoughts on her chosen topic. She did well! She was clear and concise. It was obvious she prepared for the study. After she spoke, the other students began to chime in with their thoughts, experiences and encouragement. In amazement I listened to students openly and confidently discussing the Word and Godly lifestyles. I was in awe.  Afterwards, they passionately prayed for various individual needs and for a spiritual awakening.

The evening left me humbled and full of expectation. You know something incredible is about to happen when individuals begin to actively seek after Him. Age or background doesn't matter to God. He just wants one who seeks after His heart. I firmly believe at FPB there is a group of students who are actively seeking His Face. The awakening they prayed for is already upon them.

 Whether they realize it or not, they are the awakening.

¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.-Jeremiah 29:13