Jesus, my One Thing

"There is no one else for me, none but Jesus..." 

Jesus,

when spoken that name brings joy, strength,

peace, dominion, faith, & hope, to name a few...

He is my Way-Maker, Strength-Bringer,

Star-Breather, & Hope-Creator.

 He is my Light & Life.

He holds me up & carries me when necessary.

 He knows the difference in my needs & wants,

and knowing these things He spoils me beyond measure.

He is my everything,

anything,

my One thing. 

Now you know why,

"there is no one else for me..."

 just my Jesus.

Against Hope Believing in Hope

It's been too long since my last posting and perhaps my blog slacking has been a good thing. This year has been an emotional torrent. It kicked off with a bang and continued to slide into a downwards spiral. But that negative spin stopped in May. Once again my Perfect, All Knowing, All Powerful, Forever Faithful SAVIOUR grabbed my shoulders & redirected my steps, placing me on the right path.
Over the summer I found my soul and rediscovered my love for Him & His Words.
As I began to immerse myself in the Word, I found myself drawn to old notes written throughout my Bible. While reading, I began to recall the GOD Promises placed in my life. Upon this, I started searching His Heart & reminding Him of those promises. But like the frail human that I am, I began to doubt His Word & His Promises.

I found myself in the valley between hopes...

Why hadn't I seen this Promise come to life?
What happened to that Calling I thought was given me?
Where did my Isaiah assurance go?
When will the Divine Word come to life in me?

I've read the book of Romans many times but somehow this week when reading I was drawn to particular scriptures in chapter four.
Romans 4: 18-21
18Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.19And being not weak in faith,... 20He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; 21And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.

As I sat reading over that scripture, I felt the mental, emotional, spiritual knock to my soul. Abraham was given a promise, a promise that according to the world's logic, should have never come to pass. But he never lost hope. He "against hope believed in hope!"  Against the ticking clock, against the thoughts of his peers, against the murmurings of his weak humanity, against all odds he fully BELIEVED & kept HOPE in the promises of God. Read verse 21: "And being FULLY persuaded that, what HE had promised, HE was able also to perform."
And not only was he fully persuaded that God could & would do want He had promised, Abraham did not stagger in the face of the promise. He knew his GOD, WAY-MAKER, STAR-BREATHER was more than compatible of fulfilling the given promise. He didn't doubt the abilities of GOD!

Against the taunts of my flesh,
against the disbelief of my peers,
against it all...
I won't stagger at the weight of the promises given to me. I won't allow human timing to cause doubt. I won't hold back waiting.I must continue to trust in HIS divine ways! To believe that HE is GOD & that which HE promises, HE will do in HIS time

I must trust in HIM and against hope believe in hope...

Divine Veracious Plans

Have you ever devised the best plan for your life? It's perfect. Your metaphorical ducks are in a row.

And then,...Life Happens.

Things change.

Plans shift from the precise order you designed.

What do you do?

You become like a toddler, kicking and screaming up at the Heavens.

"What are YOU thinking, GOD? Don't YOU see? YOU'RE messing up the Plan!"

This has been my scenario for the last couple of months.

I make this "fantastic, infalliable plan."

 HE could never create something as masterful as this plan

 and I just know this  is what HE has for me...

You would think I'd learn not to make plans without consulting my all-knowing Creator.

But this poor erring human must learn the hard way.
HIS plans are not always my plans....

I have to learn to acknowledge HIM when creating plans.
And know that I won't always understand HIS Purpose behind HIS Plan.
"Man's steps are ordered by the Lord. How then can a man understand his way?" Proverbs 20:24
I just have to trust the Divine with my life.
HE created it, so I must trust HIM.
My Dad used to sing a song that says,
 " When you don't understand, when you can't see HIS plan-trust HIS Heart." 
 I am learning (the painful way) to trust in HIM with everything that I hold.
HE loves me and HE has artfully designed a magnificant plan just for me.

"I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own;
it is not for man to direct his steps."-Jeremiah 10:23



So continue to guide my willful steps, God...I'll follow.

Transcend in 2010

2010. Just saying it makes me feel evolving. It's like breathing cold air after a hot, hard workout.

*deep breath* ahhh,...refreshing.

I must say 2009 was an interesting year for me. I'm ashamed of my 2009 life in some aspects, proud in others...

Confession? It was a spiritually low year for me. I feel like I didn't push as hard as I could have, dug as deep as I should have, climbed as high I would have. I was a mellow Christian in '09. 

But.

It's 2010.

A new start.

Fresh.

Clean.

I'm ready. I've started cleaning out that old rubbish that clogs down my soul. Those habits & tendencies that drag me down.

I am going to transcend to new levels in 2010.

I'm tired of being a normal, average Christian.

It's time to rise above medocrity, the levels of the oridinary.

It's time to be Christ-like.

Revelations

Have you ever opened your Life Book and flipped back a few chapters? Glanced over the pages, remembered the stories & gazed at the photographs?

And thought, "What if...?"

What if I had went to that school?

What if I had continued that relationship?

What if I had went on that trip?

What if I had chosen that profession?

What if, what if, what if....

I did today. I recalled the last 5 years in all of it's triumphs, heartaches, mountains, & valleys.

I reread some old emails from people who were once close to me... And the "What ifs" started.

I sat for over an hour just thinking about what my life would be now if I had made that no, a yes.

That one decision... I wonder what story my current Life Book pages would tell?

But.

I've learned that decision made cannot be unmade...

Thankfully in some situations.

I'm am who I am because of these past 5 years.

I like my Story.

Yes, there are mistakes throughout my Story.

Wrong Choices. Right Choices made at the Wrong Times.

But those mistakes make me who I am.

Thankfully my Story is still continuing.

The Great Editor gives me a new start each day on a new page.

Thankfully I've learned that He doesn't rate my Life Book based off page 237 in Chapter 8.

But He does rate my Life based off the ENTIRE story.

Thank God I'm not to the end yet...

I have another new clean white page.
There are no "what ifs?" on this blank page.

Just a new start...

For me to continue my Life Story.

Do Hard Things

Doing hard things means being diligent in the small. Getting across an ocean means many strokes of rowing. Scoring a film means many mornings of getting up early. Changing the world means changing our everyday actions. These are the hard things that we need to be doing if we really want to make a difference - the small, seemingly unexciting tasks that we so often procrastinate on, or ignore altogether.

- http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2005/12/hard-things%e2%84%a2-come-in-small-packages/

What do I want?

I want a good life in which I make significiant changes in my world.
I want a house… trendy but homey.
I want a job I can leave at the door when I come home at night.
I want to work with people.
I want a job I’ll enjoy & make a good living with.
I want someone to laugh, cry, & dream with.
I want to travel.
I want to learn to cook.
I want family vacations, weekend get aways, and girl’s night outings.
I want two boys.
I want to adopt a child from another country.
I want to volunteer at shelters/ hospitals.
I want yearly trips with my Bestie.
I want to found a school in an impoverished village.
I want to wake in the morning with someone holding me close.
I want to grow old knowing I've made a difference in people's lives.

I don't need to be well-known.
I don't need trophies or Nobel Prizes.

I just want to change my world in my own small, significant ways…

This is what I want.